Identity

@bella.khaira.newman
Identity

If  you’ve followed our blog this week, you’ll know it’s had a theme… overall success. We have discussed not accepting failure for more than just a stepping stone, respecting your “now” and appreciating the journey. We’ve talked about the small things in life, how becoming mindful of these moments are what is key to your journey to success being a good one and learning that our personality is vital to becoming the best you in your career…. the one people want to know and work with. All of these things tie into a healthy successful future, and I want to end this series on one thing….identity.

This idea that our personality IS our identity is messy. Our identity is our past or that who we are is what people perceive us as. It’s all wrong, so wrong. For myself, as a Christian, my identity is in Christ.. and even then it is a struggle for me to know what that means. Every person has their own walk, and we all have our own Christ, our own God…. whatever that might look like to you… this all pertains to you as well, don’t worry.

In order to truly find our identity we have to understand the dynamic… identity comes from a place of  self, and self alone. It is never just our success or failures. It is never just the goals we have set and say we are going to do. It is never simply the personality we allow others to see and how they perceive it…if you can imagine all of these things wrapped into one, it might just be called identity.

Identity is accepting failure on your way to success…knowing that any hardships, any rocky trails, or oceans we have to cross… will never end without value. Sometimes we might end up in a much different place than where we thought we were going, but the difference is knowing where we ended up is not where we started. The value in failure is the boundaries you’ll test, the strength that you will find, and the testimony you’ve been given. Religious or not, everyone has a testimony to give, and failure is apart of that. Just think of the lives you can change when you accept failure on your way to success. The world that you can touch when you’re the one who is enthusiastic while being in the trenches. Sometimes our failures only feel like a failure, because we can’t see where we are going, and tomorrow you realize that “mistake” was merely a change of course for the better.

Identity is timing. Confidence in the future but being able to respect the now that you’re currently in. Timing is not fearing the future or being angry where you’re standing. Timing relies on your past to gauge where it is that you are going. You should never believe that who you are is only your past decisions, but that it is also where your heart is now, and where it is you desire to go next. You are not your past mistakes. You are not yesterdays successes…. it is an everyday battle to maintain the identity of today and who you want to be tomorrow. You reap what you sow… today’s battles are tomorrow’s victories.. however you want to put it, there is timing to every decision you make, the right ones and the wrong. It was said to me once, God does not say no, it is either “not yet” or “I have something better in mind” and if it is the universe and karma you believe in, you can still appreciate the outlook and trust that timing has your back.

Your identity is not what others think of you, but what you allow others to see. If we only show our tough side, the world will never be able to tend to us when we are in pain. If we are always negative about our present, our friends will never know how much we truly believe in them on their way to their future. If we never discuss our past, the world will never learn from our mistakes… if we don’t discuss our future, we won’t ever have a team to help us build it. I am not saying we have to be transparent in every aspect of our life but what we allow others to perceive has power over us if we are the ones creating that false perception. We shouldn’t strive to impress others, but be proud of who we are, and where we are going. Allow your identity to have power in a positive way, the identity that we truly hold. If who we are today is not who we want to be, share that with someone and allow them to stand beside you on your way to your best self. Don’t allow your false identity of having it all together get in the way of the future self who really could have it all together (most of it). Don’t be distracted by the personality you have, as that is only for others. We have control over what we allow others to see, don’t be bluffed by your own personality. Damage can be done when our personality does match our inner self… find the balance between the two. We do not need a negative personality when we are feeling negative, but never disregard your inner identity… find the root and help it grow.

Identity is in the small things. For some, living another day is a small success. Moms value the success of making it somewhere on time, and others find a bonus to be a small success after a long time being consumed by working hard. If you’re in the trenches, being aware of your difficult time and being confident in your future, that is a success. Staying positive during hard times, inspiring someone else to do the same…might seem small, but it’s a success. Learning that your journey may be difficult but success is around you 24/7….it’s always how you perceive it. Be mindful of the small joys.

Our models understand the struggles to success, sometimes it’s the waiting that hurts… or the hardship in showing that personality that comes from the true self… respecting the “now”, and working for the future…. each of our models can testify to one of these difficult times.

Find confidence in your identity, knowing that when you make it to the top of the mountain, you’ll have a story to talk about while you’re looking at the view.

Success can be your now, but if it’s not, know it is also always around the corner.

Stay tuned for tomorrows post about Bella and how she captures every aspect of success.

Identity